Kevs a Ladyboy and other childrens favourite stories

Des Swan was born into this world at the wrong time and in the wrong place, he was born in Germany as a Jew. Times were hard at this time, you think you've had rough nights?, poor Des had to put up with this torment all the time, see fig 1.1 for an artists impression of Germany at this time.

Des was not a happy chap at this time, below is a recent photo just to show how much this torment affected him in later life. Please note, we are jumping the story a bit, but for younger viewers rest assured Des is still alive and well and living in Blackpool, England.

Going back to the story, poor Desmond was captured by the Germans and placed in a high security refugee camp, Des though (using his knowledge of the A-Team) tried various methods to escape, including his well known attack using a homemade flamethrower. Notice the look on his face as he realises he is going to be captured soon.

Upon capture Des was one of the lucky ones who was placed in solitary confinement, the gun squad had a dodgy bug that day. Fortunately Des was very lucky as he checked his pants (something which he doesn't get to do much) and found something hidden away down there. Notice Des' smile as he realises he's hit the jackpot.

As Des pulled out his hidden weapon from his pants he knew that he had to do something soon.

But Des was faced with a dilemma, he had a gun, he could easily rumble up another homemade flamethower but what should he do?, he wrote down three options:

1.Ditch the weapons and pretend he's Jerry Springer and walk out the front gates - HIGH RISK.

2.Change sides, learn German, wear big black boots and try to blend in - VERY HIGH RISK.

3.Blow the doors down, escape on a motorbike and shoot and burn as many people as possible - VERY VERY HIGH RISK.

As you can see from the picture above Des managed to escape and now lives happily in England. He took option three as he had only just watched "Rambo" on the television a few days earlier. Using this knowledge he managed to shoot 25 German soldiers, burn 15 German houses and mutilate 10 German farm animals, he is now married to a German girl called Helga. Wish him well for the rest of his life, and please read on about Kevins' friends.